Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
