Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
