I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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