It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
