I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
