It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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