Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
