what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
