I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize