Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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