i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
