Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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