I'm lost and stupid without you.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
