The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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