just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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