I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
