Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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