how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
