Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize