these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
