Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Your cock deserves a montage
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
