We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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