Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
