Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
