he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We smell like vodka and hangover
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
