hotel room ftw
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The adults are the big ones right?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
