how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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