Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize