So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
