how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
