It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
