is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize