What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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