I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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