I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently you make a good broom.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
