I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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