Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
