u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I CAN MOONWALK!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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