How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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