ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize