i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
