Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
