the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it's like iHOP with fire
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
