Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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