Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
