I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
