sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
