Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
