No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
