So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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