hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You are the jesus of drinking
Dick very happy bro
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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