I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
