you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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