Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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