so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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