he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
