You're completely useless in the revolution.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
