Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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