I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
