She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
