She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
