Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
