But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
