Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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