What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
